I always love receiving comments and e-mails from J-Tarokh, they always have a sporadic and off the cuff feel to them, make me laugh and always seem to have some random question attached. Oddly enough, I usually know the answer or feel intrigued enough to compel myself to do a quick search to expand my own personal horizons of useless knowledge.
This week, Jason sent me the following: “Dude what is the male version of a Cougar? It's called something funny….It's a middle aged guy living in a condo on Viagra?????? It's called something specific….Thanks,”
For those of you just as intrigued as I was, the answer is a “Condo Casanovas” a term describing a retiree living in a retirement community or condo, uses Viagra, has intercourse with both his contemporaries in his community as well as younger “gold-digging” women. Oddly enough, these Condo Casanovas have elderly interest groups uniting to educate each other in the prevention of STDs, known as SHIPs (Senior’s HIV Prevention). Yeah, try not to think about that one too hard...forget I used the word hard...this just gets worse.
It did take a few e-mails back and forth to see what T-$ was looking for. I originally thought he was referring to “Manthers”: A male cougar, i.e., male + panther = Manther. Single, usually divorced, and at a minimum 10 years older than a cougar or perhaps a “Guyote”: A Manther, but ten years older. Guy + coyote = Guyote. Usually, hunt alone, preferring small, easily attainable game. Guyotes may resort to scavenging if desperate. They are often difficult to remove from populated areas. Commonly attracted to, but easily intimidated by cougars. This is all total useless information and I have taken away 30-seconds of your life that you may never get back-My Bad.
However, to redeem myself, I will finally let you in on what a Cougar is and give a prime example of aforementioned sexual creature. A Cougar is a powerful, successful, mature woman, usually in her late 30’s through 50’s, who is both sexually aggressive and successful in her career. A Cougar doesn’t need a man to take care of her; she’s a take charge woman who knows what she wants, gets it and follows the same hunting patterns as Manthers and Guyotes. Other than her stagnant home-maker and Art major in college, Mrs. Robinson would be a prime example of a Cougar, older woman attracted to and gets younger man, to feel acceptance, passion or for physical or other arbitrary reasons. The Boytoy, Toyboy or Guybrator is seen as just an ends to the means of satisfaction.
After reading the article, “The Terror Consigliere” in this week’s Time Magazine, the Bushido would like to throw his hat in the ring for Frances Fragos Townsend (Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism). Not that I have my fingers crossed for her marriage to fall apart, I am just saying, Fran when you think “Plan B” think the Bushido or perhaps if you become a Cougar out in the wild, come to Charleston-Home of the Cougars Baby! By the way, the Bushido would like to commend Jeff Hutchens w/ Getty Images (see picture: compliments of Time Magazine) for capturing, excuse me for producing a quality piece of art….”You are good you, you are good!!!”
(Just a ? to the editors at Time, why is the article titled Terror Consigliere? Seriously, with disregard to life and limb, Townsend fought organized crime with Rudy and broke up the Mob's syndicate. Why use the term Consigliere?)
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