A Modest Puffin Proposal

If the citizens' health is really the catalyst of Charleston City Councils' recent smoking ban, then the Council should have passed new health standards instead of new laws. With the increase of cigarette taxes (to cover Governor Sanford's property tax-cuts) people need to smoke; in fact, they need to smoke more. So my modest proposal instead of releasing Charleston's police on City's beloved "Puffin" is to pass new "Air-Standards" or what I like to call HOBS (Health-Oxygen Breathing Standards). We have (health-department-graded) letter-coordinated Health Sanitation Standards for restaurants' cleanliness, so the Bushido suggests something similar for our restaurants air quality. Since letters are already taken, perhaps a number or picture correlating to the available air quality would be apt.

For instance, if your restaurant is smoke-free, then you get a sticker reading O-1 or of a Mountain Top. If you own a smoke-friendly, cigar bar, you would receive a 06 sticker or perhaps a picture of something resplendently ordure! I'll think about the semantics of what would be apropos for restaurants and bars to promulgate as universal-messages of air-cleanliness, apart from tawdry pictures of coal-miners, French-dillatantes, or chimney sweeps, I am sure there are other more relevant, American-symbols for HOBS.

This topic has been debated for years now, and I'd like to hear from you; so please feel free to leave your comments.