I thought the “Rock, Paper, Scissors” Order was just a hoax from Mrs. Demato to get a laugh from us all today, but this evening whilst checking the news I noticed this headline “Judge: Rock, paper, scissors to decide dispute” on MSNBC. It appears that two opposing counselors in Tampa, Florida are duke'in it out over the minutiae of every aspect of the case, AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC., d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc., (Plaintiff) vs. WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE COMPANY, (Defendant). US District Judge Gregory Presnell ordered the two opposing attorneys to meet on the Courthouse steps on the 30th of this month for a game of high stakes “Rock, Paper, Scissors”. Winner takes all and decides the location of the deposition.
I know what you are thinking, this is better than the best lawyer joke on the market right now. But consider this, last year when Sony wanted to dump their art collection valued at $17.8 million, representatives from Christie’s and Sotheby’s engaged in “Rock, Paper, Scissors” combat to decide who would be the auctioneer for the collection. Christie’s won the best of three as rock always beats scissors. And Peabody thought we were the only people who played “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to solve matters. For those of you out of the loop, when we used to work together back in the day, Peabody opened a many gates due to his lack of prowess at the game of Kings.
The photo for today’s post is from Snorgtees.com, the “Choose Wisely” t-shirt is available for $16.95.
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Attorneys,
For your reading amusement, this is a real court order, handed down yesterday after two attorneys could not adequately meet and confer on the location of a PMK deposition. The order was made by Judge Gregory A. Presnell. The attorneys involved were D. Lee Craig, of Butler Pappas Weihmuller Katz Craig, and David J. Pettinato of Merlin Law Group. Note: both counsel have offices in the same building, four floors apart from one another.
UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT MIDDLE DISTRICT OF FLORIDA ORLANDO DIVISION
AVISTA MANAGEMENT, INC., d/b/a Avista Plex, Inc.,
Plaintiff,
-vs-
WAUSAU UNDERWRITERS INSURANCE COMPANY,
Defendant.
______________________________________
ORDER
This matter comes before the Court on Plaintiff's Motion to designate location of a Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of the Motion - the latest in a series of Gordian knots that the parties have been unable to untangle without enlisting the assistance of the federal courts - it is
ORDERED that said Motion is DENIED. Instead, the Court will fashion a new form of alternative dispute resolution, to wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at a neutral site agreeable to both parties. If counsel cannot agree on a neutral site, they shall meet on the front steps of the Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled to be accompanied by one paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in one (1) game of "rock, paper, scissors." The winner of this engagement shall be entitled to select the location for the 30(b)(6) deposition to be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during the period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes the outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and a hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 before the undersigned in Courtroom 3, George C. Young United States Courthouse and Federal Building, 80 North Hughey Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801.
DONE and ORDERED in Chambers, Orlando, Florida on June 6, 2006.
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