Borat Goes to Washington and a link to the video of Borat's trip to Charleston, dining with friends, Charlotte McDowell's parents among guests

Sasha Baron Cohen, aka, Ali-G, amongst other television personalities is catching the eye of officials from Kazakhstan. Coinciding with the third official visit from Kazakh President Nursultan Nazarbayev today, Cohen's anti-Semitic, masoginistic character reporter Borat Sagdiyev went to Washington holding a press conference outside of the White House to dispel rumors that the Kazakh government's disdain for his portrayal of a Kazakh reporter is nothing more than "disgusting fabrications orchestrated by neighboring Uzbekistan" and to invite "Premier George Walter Bush" and "O.J. Simpson, Mel Gibsons and other American dignitaries" to a screening of his new movie, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. The invitation read: "Seats is provide. There will be secure enclosure for storage of vehicles and wives."

Unfortunately, most Kazakh multi-plexes will be passing on the new Borat movie, quite the response from a country with a strong record of human rights violations, which President, err, Premier Bush failed to mention to Prez Nazarbayev during their 45-minute meeting, but Prez Cod-Piece did look forward to buying the Kazakh leader, of the untapped but potentially one of the top 10 oil producing countries in the world within the next decade, lunch. But of course he did, a leader of an oil rich country that recently dismantled their leftover Soviet-Era-Nuclear-Arms is more than welcome to sit at our table, just don't piss us off because the Bushido would hate to see Borat reporting from the front-lines of an American invasion in efforts to help spread Democracy!

For you Borat fans, I sent a video from YouTube but it hasn't posted yet, and I tried using the Google Video, but yet another glitch arose from the techies at Blogger. Don't worry, here is a link to the video of Borat's trip to the deep south to learn manners from Ms. Helen Pye of Charleston, S.C. He asks her on such etiquette as "how much to tip a prostitute", farts and table talk. He puts his newly learned manners into practice at the St. Andrew's Society, with among those attending are Charlotte McDowell's parents, Sims and Elsa McDowell.

It wasn't a win for the Gamecocks, but it was a Victory!

The Bushido gives a special hats off to Steve Spurrier and the South Carolina Gamecocks tonight. Although they came up 5-yards and one touchdown short, they showed that the Cocks are back in business and they are playing as a team! As we already knew, Syvelle Newton can throw and he can scramble. Newton showed that he is the man for the QB job. I will be the first to admit, my previous post was a total crap-shoot, I had no idea the Gamecocks would play as well as they did. That being said, the rest of the season is now wide-open for the Gamecocks. They will take at least take two of the three games between either Rocky Top, Cle(p)son or during the Visor's return to the Swamp.

A tip of the visor to the guys in Columbia tonight! The Gamecocks played well, played as a team and showed they wanted it. Although, FOB Craig was against the last call coming from the "old ball coach" it seemed apropos at the time-it was the only 4th down conversion either team did not win during the game and the Cocks had the momentum to go balls deep! A special tip of the visor to the Cocks on D! The South Carolina Offense did not have a chance to take the field during the entire 3rd Quarter and the Defense still held strong against the #2nd ranked team in the country.
(Photo: JET/Bushido w/Sony Ericsson W300i phone)

Why the Mississippi Gambler will come up short in Cola tonight

The 2^nd ranked team in the nation (behind top ranked The Ohio State Buckeyes) Auburn War-Beagles, err, Tigers come into Columbia tonight to play our beloved Gamecocks. After losing 48-7 in Auburn a year ago (a game which Mellen said, the Auburn fans were respectfully positive in their candor post-a** whipping) the (3-1) Gamecocks plan on bringing a challenging defense and air-assault offense to face the Cox and "Judas", Kenny Irons, lead offense of Auburn. Look for a nasty SEC battle on the gridiron tonight at Williams-Brice Stadium.

Why the Mississippi Gambler will come up short on tonight's spread

Tubbs will come up short on tonight's spread of 14 points because of 7 key reasons:

1. Steve Spurrier is the old ball coach and he always has something up his sleeve, perhaps even a playbook that the Cocks can understand.
2. Despite his ankle injury, Cory Boyd will be on the field tonight and knowing the LSU styled pass rush defense that Auburn has inherited they will leave a lot of real estate for both Boyd and Syvelle Newton, if he decides to become imaginative, to take advantage of tonight.
3. South Carolina's D-line is stronger and larger than Auburn's O-line.
4. Succup's right foot-the man knows how to suck-up and put the pig-skin between the uprights.
5. Syvelle Newton has mad passing and scrambling skills.
6. Auburn's football team wears Under-"we must protect this house"-Armor and their female students and alumni wear cut-off blue jeans shorts.
7. The Gamecock Faithful know how to turn the volume up to the 11th notch on the amp in Williams-Brice.

Reasons why Auburn will win tonight's game:

1. The Mississippi Gambler, Tommy "Two-Tones" Tubberville will pull an ace out of his sleeve and is well prep'd for tonight's game. (He does respect his opponent in the Visor).
2. Kenny Irons will run for at least 100 yards in his return to Williams-Brice Stadium.
3. The Bushido will never be able to turn the tables on the Tarokh'd Tigers if Auburn can not hold onto the number two spot and face (and ultimately lose to) my beloved Buckeyes for the National Championship.

End Note: I am not sure exactly how this works but despite California's QB, Nate Longshore garnishing 21% of the vote, (behind Notre Dame's Terrail Lambert w/ 26% of the vote and South Carolina's wide-receiver, Sidney Rice taking 29% of the votes), Longshore was named "player of the week" and the USA Today on-line poll is still open. Rice who pulled down 9 passes for 162 yards and all five scores and a school record against Florida Atlantic last Saturday should have taken home the title of "POTW" but some Tiger loving pollster out there put the kibosh on that. We will see tonight folks, we will see tonight.

T.O.'s status for Sunday moved from Suicidal to Probable

24 hours ago, Dallas Cowboy's receiver (#81) Terrell Owens was rushed to the Baylor Medical Center for a drug over-dose, first classified as a suicide-attempt by Dallas Police, but since changed due to medical confidentiality by Mr. Owens to a private, albeit wrong mix of pain-killers for a recent broken finger. Now, I know T.O. gets a lot of press and a lot of attention, partly caused by himself (e.g. T.O. slightly pulls a hamstring and is put on the stationary-bike for two weeks and dresses a la Lance Armstrong for his rehab) but why would T.O. turn to suicide? The Bushido's theory is that T.O. acts the way he does because he is very insecure and needs to deal with his hidden "demons". Insecurity can sometimes lead to inadequate feelings leading then to depression, thus leading the lost soul to the depths of suicide.

At noon today during Coach Parcell's weekly press conference 33 of 34 questions had to do with T.O.'s status. The last question asked, concerned Terry Glenn's status for this week. As for T.O.'s status for Sunday, his condition was moved from suicidal to probable.

On an end-note: If you get the chance drop in on Cowboy fan Brad over at Unlimited Mulligans and leave him a message to break his recent silence. We miss you Bradford. (Photo courtesy of the AP)

Wednesday's WTF? Screech's Sex Tape

I know what you are thinking Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape, interesting. Paris Hilton's sex tape, grainy, green and a poor performance by the female actress, but still pretty interesting. However, for those of us who grew up watching "Saved By The Bell" on Saturday afternoons, and after school re-runs, the last person we'd expect to see making a "sex" tape is son of Neil Diamond, Dustin "Screech" Diamond. Screech's sex-tape is this week's WTF?

Clicking on the above picture does not start the video, but here is the link to TMX.com, which has clips for your viewing "pleasure" on their site.

Evidently, Screech who announced last year he was selling t-shirts because he was broke, introduces two women to, what the New York Post refers to as "a kinky three-way". And just in case your stomach was not as turned as mine-thanks Screech, I am trying to get over a stomach-virus going around and this doesn't help-Screech introduces one of his "co-stars" to how do you say, a Mr. Sanchez.

Come on Screech, WTF? Jesse (Elizabeth Berkley) looked great in Showgirls and Slater (Mario Lopez) is on "Dancing with the Stars" and I know that you have it tough, but you did kick Horshacks' (Welcome Back Carter) in the celebrity boxing contest. The Bushido believes in your pre-pubescent "screechy" voice and acting ability. Stick with the stand-up comic routine and wahtever you do, don't play your Dad's tune, "Sweet Caroline" (Hands, touching hands, reaching out touching me, touching you....) during your sex-tape, because that is just not cool man.

Happy Birthday to Cheryl Tiegs

The ageless woman who started it all, the world's first Supermodel, Cheryl Tiegs turns 59 today. Happy Birthday Gorgeous! (Photo courtesy of Bodog.com)

Twin Cities get a hoot-n-nany, or is that a ho-down?

Go (Mid)West young man...
Hot off their complete and utterly grotesque attempt (that actually worked) to squeeze the last drop of political capital from 9/11, the GOP decided to stop spreading the news and GOP officials announced today that the Party's 2008 National Convention will be held in St. Paul, Minnesota at the Xcel Energy Center (Go Wild!). For all of you GOP faithful, mark September 1-4, 2008 on your calendars as the date slated for the convention. Many GOP faithful assumed Cleveland, Ohio would get the nod for the 2008 election, but Republican strategists felt the "political punch" from the "media markets in Iowa, Minnesota and Wisconsin" (considered "battleground states" in the next Presidential election) would be better in the Twin Cities, besides, do you really think the GOP would hold their National Convention in the newly anointed poorest large city (Cleveland) in America? Seriously Cleveland, you need to wake-up and smell the political coffee. Paris Hilton doesn't party in the hood and the party of Millionaires doesn't party in the poorest city in America!

For the Democrats, either New York or Denver will be the prime spot for the full kegger out at the moon tower for the DNC (read: party for the people) but it seems the Dems are holding off for a nod from the Bushido on where to throw down. My question, how bad do you want the Bushido to visit Milos?

NIE: National Intelligence Estimate and the Republican leadership runs for cover

With 43 days left before the mid-term elections the Republican leadership suffered a major hit tody as the Press released the NIE (National Intelligence Estimate) which found that the War in Iraq has, contrary to the popular Republican opinion and hat hanging, made America less safe. The NIE's findings are devastaing to the Republican Party members running on their assumption that this Administration had made this country safer. The NIE report should not be taken lightly as all sixteen intelligence agencies are accounted for in this report.

Fortunately, for many Republicans (read:non-Bushido readers) they will miss this report due to the return of the New Orleans Saints to the Superdome as well as the recent interview of former president Bill Clinton (following the Bushido Way) by Chris Wallace. End note: Is it me or is anyone else surprised this guy is the son of Mike Wallace?

--
James Trabert
Charleston, SC

Amp'd Mobile - Lil' Bush

Happy Birthday to Lil Reagan! Miles sent me a text saying he had "frost on his windshield this morning as it was 34 degrees" Nice...

Technical Difficulties but links over to the Bushido Way

We have a couple of technical difficulties here at the Bushido today, if you were looking for the following (see below) they are posted on the Bushido Way for your convenience.
Lil Bush Video
John Legend Video, Save Room
Money Problems

I wouldn't F-You with his "member" and you pushing!

The first succesful penis transplant (performed September 2005) noted on record by the European Association of Urology by Chinese doctor, Dr. Hu Weilie @ Guangzhou General, was removed from the 44-year old recipient because of the emotional trauma caused to both the recipient and his wife.

 

Don't ask, don't tell...

The reasons for the transplant have been left to a very ambigous description of the result of a"unfortunate tramatic accident" causing the recipient issues in performance and difficulties in urination, the fact remains the emotional and mental difficulties caused the removal of the aforementioned attached penis. Dr. Hu Weilie who performed the 15-hour, micro-surgery (read: small penis) donated by the parents of a 22-year old, brain-dead patient, noted he made sure the Op passed the litmacy test of his colleagues and the board of GGH.

 

All the blood from my brain went to my other head...

New Bushido Rule #1: This message is for JET's parents or perhaps the future Mrs. Bushido: No matter how brain dead you think that I am, if you ever, ever, ever, even have a dream about removing "little Jimmy" from his attached limbs and core, you better wake the F_up and call me to apologize. Secondly, Mrs. Recipient, your husband just got a new lease on his (sexual) life by getting a penis half his age. If men can deal with women wearing new augmentations to "tune in Tokyo" you should really learn to deal with a new penis. Perhaps, you should try therapy instead of the excommunication of a beloved member of the family. Finally, to Mr. Recipient, it is pretty hard (pardon the pun) to get a new penis, yet alone one half-your age, but you can get a new wife a hell of a lot easier-hey, I am just saying, don't look a gift penis in the mouth.

 

 

The Empire Gives Back...

"I believe the children are our future, give them bucks and let them lead the way, show them all the beauty they possess inside..."

George Lucas creator of the Star Wars movies and co-collabarator of Cincy's hometown movie man, Steven Spielberg, on the Indiana Jones movies (btw, expect a new Indiana Jones movie next year, perhaps it is a precursor to Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade) announced he is giving back to his alma mater. Lucas (USC, Class of 1966) wrote a check to USC (read University of Southern California for you Gamecocks out there) for $175 million. Lucas not only set the record at tyhe box office, but now he set the record at USC topping Walter (does this guy have a grandaughter who is single?) Annenberg's donation of $120 million.

Don't spend it all in one place
The LucasFilmFoundation (who says Georgie doesn't know a tax-write-off when he sees one?) ear-tagged $75 million for the new cinema school's 137,000 sq.ft. home with the remaining $100 million to be used in endowments. The groundbreaking ceremony will be held October 14th for the new cinema school building, padron me, the USC's Lucas School of Cinema Building.

How can we ever repay you?
USC will repay the Jedi-Master of donations with the bestowement of Marster Grand Marshall for next year's Tournament of Roses and Rose Bowl Parade in Pasedena.
(Photo compliments of SI/John W. McDonough)

Wednesday's WTF?

I am rolling the dice here by tapping the "Wednesday WTF?" this early in the morning, but yesterday I saw a comment on FDL made last week by Georgia's Governor Sonny Perdue regarding Immigration and I knew that I had to pocket that sh_crap for today.

Perdue said, "It is simply unacceptable for people to sneak
into this country illegally on Thursday, obtain a government-issued ID on
Friday, head for the welfare office on Monday and cast a vote on Tuesday,"
according to a transcript provided by Perdue’s press office.

Btw, I love TRex's snark concerning the RAH's in Georgia,
"(And yes, to attain a high position in the Georgia Republican party, you must have a name that would embarrass a golden retriever. If you’re a wealthy white man with a double-digit IQ named Saxby, Sonny, Buzzy, Bobby, Bo, or Boo, and if you’re momma’s also your third cousin, why you’re eligible for office in the Georgia GOP! No other qualifications are necessary, folks!)".

A Coup of Thaiese

P.M. Dawn and a lovely day for a coup...
A gaggle of geese, a murder of crows and now a coup of Thaiese. Many of you enlightened Bushido readers already know the identity of Thaiese, they are people (plural) of Thailand. Early Tuesday morning, while the Prime Minister of Thailand, Thaksin Shinawatra (AKA P.M. Dawn, just kidding I made that up) was preparing for his address to the U.N. General Assembly another General (Sondhi Boonyaratkalin) was smoking the Cubans Thaksin keeps in the top right hand drawer of his desk as he lead a military coup to oust the (democratically) elected Prime Minister. For the Taiese reading this, all government offices, banks, schools, and the mail will not run on Tuesday, added note- martial law is in effect so you might not want to rome the streets either. Thailand's Constitution is on hold for the time being and the oldest sitting Monarch (the envy of every infidel and "Fidel" alike) will "hold court" until the military and the democratic elections are held to resume the status quo.

A Bangkok, We Have a Problem...
Prime Minister Thaksin canceled his address to the United Nations General Assembly today and declared a "state of emergency" in Thailand. He will return to the country early Wednesday. A noble gesture, but as we've seen time and time before (this ain't Thailand's first rodeo, err military coup) he will most likely be arrested, tried in "kangaroo" court and executed. I would have recommended staying State side for a bit and either hitting the shoe stores with Condi or taking a relaxing bus ride with Willie, but that's just me. (Btw, what's the deal with the Po-Pos always busting guys named William for pot when they are touring the country by bus? And as a side note: if you are on a campaign or touring with guys older than 55, you should get a little slack from the police.) I digress; the U.S. State Department's response to the coup in Thailand was the following: "The U.S. State Department is uneasy about the military takeover and hopes political differences can be resolved through democratic principles. 'We are monitoring the situation with concern,' a statement said. 'We continue to hope that the Thai people will resolve their political differences in accord with democratic principles and the rule of law'." How funny is that? The State Department said, "rule of law". Aren't we in the process of tossing our's along with Article 3 of the Geneva Convention out the window? Don't worry folks, I am sure BushCo knows what it is doing. Obviously, when a former Air-Force Military lawyer objects (slam the gavel Sen. Graham) and a former guest of the Hanoi Hilton objects (ummm, Senator McCain, I thought you were trying to make nice with your party to get tapped for the next election) the "right" thing to do is not to forget the "rules of law" which not only stood up to the " Evil Empire" but also out-lasted those guys in black pajamas named "Charlie ". Right? (Moment of Soap-box Zen: And you wonder why the Bushido has always been against a one-party system controlling all 3-branches of government. Because as they say, "absolute power, corrupts absolutely .")

*For more on this visit Glenn Greenwald's Unclaimed Territory, he's written an excellent expose of the "rule of law" and the rejection of history John "Torture" Yoo penned in the Old Grey Lady on Sunday.

Some People Ask Why?, I Ask Why Not?
Acting Prime Minister, General Sondhi staged the coup because of the Thaiese' demand for the Prime Minister's resignation due in part of the Sondhi Administration's "emasculation of the country's democratic institutions, allegations of corruption, electoral skullduggery and the worsening Muslim insurgency in the Southern region of Thailand" (close to 2,000 Thai have lost their lives due to these insurgents). Although Thaksin, a former telecom tycoon, has the support of the rural poor, wealthiest 10% of Thaiese and right-wing conservatives, his Administration has alienated and disenfranchised the middle-class, intellectuals, constitutionists and pro-democracy activists in the country.

The reason I gave the Bushido's readers a laundry list of why the coup was staged is so you would have something to think about in terms of why this country (the United States) needs to maintain our prior commitments to the "rule of law", our Constitution (did anyone notice or celebrate Constitution Day Monday?) and the Geneva Convention. Why? Because our hypocricy will know no bounds if we attack and sanction other countries for breaking or disregarding the "rule of law" when America does not live by the same code of conduct. If I didn't follow the Bushido Code, could I cast my steely blade down upon the necks of those who have no code at all? I think not! And as Americans we should hold ourselves to a higher standard if we want to be the defenders of freedom and democracy, because if we don't then we are nothing more than bullies without both credibility and credence. As we say (Bob) "Ney" and turn our heads to corruption and evil because our attention is too busy focused on our careers, lives or football, then we are embarrasing ourselves in front of the World. And folks, if a blogger in South Carolina is writing about a military coup in Thailand, then we must realize that the World is watching us too.

International Talk Like A Pirate Day...ARRRR!!!!

AVAST YE’ Mateys!!! Arr!!! Batten down the hatches you scurvy dogs…Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so by all means celebrate with the rich, “whimsical alternative” to your day to day dialogue. (Photo compliments of Pirates-Corsaires.com/tableau-berbenoire)
Savy???

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day from the link above:

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Gamecocks win by 7 over Wofford

Last month I fumed at the thought of the Post & Courier’s Sports-writing staff didn’t have anything good to say about the Game Cocks. I remember clutching the section and muttering “Beat the Burger” and “Gene Spank-a lot” are two of the biggest melodious, Clem(p)son loving rumps to ever set words to paper…And then the season started. Don’t get me wrong on paper, the Stats look great: Cory Boyd’s 3-Td’s rushing scored a school record, Sidney Rice had 151 yards receiving and Syvelle Newton looked capable, but the little things that win games seemed to not be clicking for the Cocks. It is not just barely beating a Southern-Conference school of only about a thousand students that scares me, but what happens when the #2 team in the nation comes to Cola in two weeks, followed by two weeks on the road in both Kentucky and Tennessee, and then a visit from Rocky Top and the Razorbacks before the Visor leads the Cocks into the Swamp?

To end on a bright note, Mel orchestrated a fantastic trip: great friends (see photo: Cantwell & Hutto), great seats and passes to Cocks Corner with prime parking. I was glad to see the Cocks win and my bed after the marathon of tailgating was over. Thanks again Mellen!

Homework, stickers and the effect on education...

The WaPo’s Valerie Strauss reported last Tuesday which made the front page of Sunday’s Post & Courier that studies by Duke University’s Harris Cooper find that homework assignments are not as beneficial to students as expected. Cooper found that elementary students receive no academic benefit from homework other than basic reading skills and middle-school and high-school students receive no educational benefit after more than 2 hours of study. Cooper’s concluded there are no direct correlations between homework and academic achievement in the elementary schools (but hey coloring within the lines and getting a gold-star sticker can really make your day, or at least help decorate the refrigerator) but reading was necessary for the development of individual learning. The purpose, design and amount of homework is a huge dilemma facing today’s educators and those in Academia studying the effect extra-curricular studying has on a child’s learning.

The Bushido is in limbo on this topic because the problem we have in education is there are so many variables involved with a child’s learning capacity and environment leaving “no-child behind” from a Federal standard is ridiculous. Americans don’t even share the same dialect in different regions of this country, why are we expected to learn the same thing nationwide? Something has to be done and something has to be changed, because our country spends twice as much as other countries with half of the results. Whatever (legal) measures it takes to spark a student’s interests and their minds should be used, even if it is not recommended by some bureaucratic council in Washington.

In closing, I agree with Cohen’s Groupwork design or role-playing for groups. Group work gives students a chance to shine, interact with one another and demonstrate leadership abilities. One of the Bushido’s most memorable moments was as the lead attorney in Mrs. McKelvey’s Senior Government class mock-trial. Having my opposing counsel, Duane Mabry, thrown from Courtroom on Contempt charges that I found in Ohio Code was fantastic. Sorry, Duane, but I still delight in that memory. I digress; the thing is we shouldn’t force the same brand of education down our children’s throats just because we had it that way-“tradition”-because then we’ve missed the key point about learning: that knowledge is a power built on progression.

(Feel free to leave your thoughts on the matter in the comments section)

On the Cover of a Rolling Stone...

The Bushido was shocked to find my brother-in-law quoted in Rolling Stone magazine in the article, "Tupac in Baghdad: The Music Soldiers Take Into Battle". Honestly, I was reading an article in the car (which I hardly do because I get motion-sick reading in automobiles) reading an article that I normally wouldn't have read when I came across the following:

"I came over here with 1,700 songs," says Sgt. Jaime Williams, a twenty-one-year-old Oregon native based in Tikrit. "Now I have 5,000."

I was with my folks and I asked them, where is Jamie stationed? Momma Bushido said, "the Army won't tell us because it's classified." "Well," I replied, "Rolling Stone says, he is in Tikrit." I called "Little-E" to tell her to run out and pick-up the issue before the new one came out and to check page 22 for her husband's quote.

For inquiring minds: Jamie is back state-side settling in to his new digs with Erin, until the Army finds something else to maintain his time. I briefly spoke with him last night and he sounded glad to be back. Btw, to my delight, both of the Bushido's Bro-In-Laws (Logan and Jamie) are back State-Side, welcome home guys!

Tarokh's Birthday

Today is FOB and soon to be Pappa, Josh Tarokh’s birthday. How wild is it that Tarokh is about to be a father? Josh you only have a few more months to swing those clubs and then it is time for some serious “pampering” around the house. I am not sure what the countdown is for the future Auburn fan to make her debut, but I think it is just a couple of months away. Happy Birthday Josh!

(Picture of Josh & Laura Tarokh w/JET & ABJ courtesy of the Bushido Archives)

Robert Going's Birthday!

Today is FOB Robert (The Beaver) Going’s birthday. Rob-3000 is an expert at “Golden-Tee” and partaking in libations at his local Hooters. He is in his 2nd year of law school in Michigan and currently hates Tax-Law, watch and that will probably be his specialty in about 3 more years. The Beav will tell you that his gift is his mouth and it did indeed help him win a ranking as the 5th top advocate-beating over 600 other students-in his first ever Moot Court Competition. (It is a Moot point to finally bring his accolades up, but he does give me grief that he doesn’t make the Bushido anymore, but Jamie Mellen gets mentioned for tying his shoes correctly-Beav slightly exaggerated but whatever).

The Beav as he is so affectionately refereed to around here at the Bushido because when you leave it to the Beaver there’s always a pile of broken or lost items, (i.e. hearts, hotel room walls, flashlights thrown into the ocean, shoes, car windows, glassware, iPods, etc) combined with a great story or perhaps tight lips about what he may or might not have done with a “Killer Tomato”. Beav, we are all glad to see you succeed at every level, whether that is working for Dell or law school, you make other C-students proud! Happy Birthday Buddy!
(Photo of Rob & His boys getting their "Irish On" compliments of Rob-Going)

Former Gov of Texas, Ann Richards passes @ age 73

Former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards passed yesterday at the age of 73 of complications from esophageal cancer. Richards left numerous progressive fingerprints on the Texas landscape, but it was her wit & Southern-styled charm that she will truly be remembered for. She was sadly defeated by the current President for the Governor’s office in Texas underestimating Bush’s political savvy and also the extreme measures Karl Rove would use to scare people and rile up the Conservative base in Texas. This harkens back to the golden era of Rove’s nitty gritty dirt campaign when he had flyers with homosexual-males engaged in intercourse with the heading “Ann Richards is for Gay Rights” left under the windshield wipers of cars in church parking lots. Thus, Rove permanently sealed his position on the Hinge of Evil (Hitler, Pol Pot and Karl Rove) that swings the screen door on the 5th Gate of Hell. I digress; Richards may have lost an election, but she did not lose a step. She continued as an activist, writer and political advisor as well as motorcycle enthusiast until her passing.

When Ann Richards lost the gubernatorial seat in Austin, the political landscape for the Democratic control of the Lone Star State would forever change, but hopefully, one day, a Richards-esque Democrat will carry on her torch.

Ann Richards Quotes:

Ask a feminist and they will tell you the best quote from Ann Richards’ regarding the ability of women to lead in business or politics is: “Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.”

Any Democrat in the rest of the country will remember Ann Richards for two things, being the 1992, DNC-Chairperson who nominated Bill Clinton and her comments made towards George H. W. Bush back in 1988, “Poor George, he can’t help it…He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.”

Happy Birthday to the Beav!

NFL Cheerleaders wish Robert "the Beav" Going Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Robert

Breaking News from the State Newspaper, Blake Mitchell suspended due to arrest...

USC quarterback Mitchell suspended following altercation

USC quarterback Blake Mitchell has been suspended from the team "indefinitely", an athletic department news release said.The announcement provided no further details.Booking information at the Alvin S. Glenn Detention Center, where Mitchell, 21, turned himself in this afternoon, indicates he is charged with simple assault.WISTV has reported that Mitchell was involved in an altercation in Five Points on Tuesday, which led to a warrant for his arrest.The university news release said Coach Steve Spurrier would comment on the situation after today's practice. ....More to follow.— Kelly Davis

Palmetto Carriage adds Barn-Cam

The RastaMule has a new Barn-Camera in the Big Red Barn so “Big Brother” can keep his eye on what’s going on or if Dave Jenkins is screwing around when he should be working. Click here for the link to the Barn Cam. If the wandering eye in the Red Barn doesn’t fulfill your desire for barnyard stomp, click here for some of the sounds you’d possibly hear after Tex-Mex night @ Palmetto Carriage.

Sorry about the Brook Institute logo Ben-Jammin, but I thought I’d give it to you one more time.

Warning: The following may not be suitable for underage readers:

Joe Francis founder of those late night, Spring Break, "Daddy aren't you proud of me videos" Girls Gone Wild and his production company Mantra Films and sub-company MRA Holdings plead guilty to charges filed in Federal Court in both Florida and Los Angeles. The plea agreement forces Francis and his affiliates to cough up $2.1 million in fees for not keeping records of the age of the women (performers) in the videos as they negligently did not label the following videos as required by Federal Law.

This case is the first case filed under Section 2257-a Federal Law preventing the exploitation of minors by forcing film producers to maintain records of the ages for each performer, as well as label each video with the location of where these documents are held. Could it possibly be that naming one of your videos “GGW: First Timers” caught the attention of the Federalies? For those of you who get a new video each month, “cancel at anytime”, don’t worry, GGW is still in effect and the similar charges filed in Los Angeles will be dismissed after 3-years of proper documentation, as well as paying the $2.1 million in fines.

I picturing one of those Austin Powers moments for some of these performers on down the road:

Jenna B: “Honestly Baby, its not me in that video, I’d never do that (fill in blank w/ whatever drunk girl video performance you choose).”

Document Custodian: One legal waiver signed by Miss Jenna B.

Jenna B: I am a Conservative Republican who is against Gay-rights; I’d never perform with another woman.

Document Custodian: One Cashed Check signed Jenna B and W-2 form acknowledging services provided for payment with Mantra Films…

(Nevermind, you get the rest…quickly…)

Wednesday WTF???

There were quite a few in close competition this week for the Wednesday WTF. But it was the story of the University of Northern Colorado’s backup punter, Mitch Cozad stabbing No-Co’s punter, Rafael Mendoza, in the right leg to try and take his job that earned today’s WTF? Seriously Mitch, Mitchie, Mitch (sorry “Dazed & Confused” flashback) did you seriously think you could get away with it? Not that Mitch didn’t try-he stabbed Mendoza in the leg from behind and drove off, stopping to pull off the tape covering his license plate in front of a liquor store, but a store clerk spotted him and thought what the F_? and called the cops.

Look Mitch, if there is one thing you should have learned from the Nancy Kerrigan & Tonya Harding is that taking out someone’s leg in order to steal their position is never a good idea.

Redskins Cinderellas or has the clock struck 12..

I was reading the WaPo's Michael Wilbon's article "All Things Being Equal, Game One Doesn't Add Up" this morning and I have to admit, I was asking myself the same profound question used to end the article, "If the Redskins are going to struggle this desperately with B-list receivers like Williamson and Taylor, how in the world are they going to stay within a mile of T.O. and Terry Glenn next week in Dallas?" The Redskins lost 19 to 16 last night against the Minnesota Vikings and former Redskins, Brad Johnson and Fred Smoot. Btw, in true historical Viking attitude, Johnson wore his old Skins jersey as he came out of the locker room after the game.

Opening the season on Monday Night Football (on Sept. 11th) against a paltry team and with all of the new hype the Press can put out about the Redskins this year along with Dan's new friends Tom-Kat and Jamie Foxx at the show, it would have been easy to assume the Skins would have held down the fort at Fed-Ex Field. Unfortunately, the game came down to a 48-yard missed field-goal by John Hall (thanks Sime for that ex-Badger) and that was to tie the game! Clinton Portis only put up 39 yards in 10 rushes (he did score the only touchdown), Veteran QB Mark Brunell went 17 of 28 for 163 yards (by the Grace of God he did not throw an Interception) and the off-season big money snag of Antwaan Randle El didn't really pan out.

And what about the always dependable Washington Defense’s performance? Granted Prioleau's injury at the beginning of the game was a shocker and Sean Taylor did get called on a questionable face-mask, but what about the other 4-Quarters. How many third-down conversions are the Redskins going to hand out? Well last night they gave out 9 of 17 3rd down treats. What if Troy Williamson hadn't dropped two end-zone passes? This game would have been a blow out. I am sure the Tuna is sitting down in the Big D and thinking wow, with corner Shawn Springs and safety Pierson Prioleau out, T.O is going to have a "hay-day" with (a San Fran-throw back) Mike Rumph. Viking QB, Brad Johnson, was sacked once and forced into throwing one bad ball. Come on! Granted Johnson won a Super Bowl with Tampa Bay, and one of the most accurate passers in the league, but he is 38-put the pressure on and force him out of the pocket. I just can't help thinking, what's going to happen when the Skins face another veteran QB next Sunday? Is this a Cinderella Story with a minor hic-up to start our “happily ever after” season or did the clock just strike 12 and our Redskins just turn into pumpkins?

Keith Olbermann's Harsh Words for President Bush

I found this on Crooks and Liars, click here for the video, I added the full transcript below.Full

Transcript: "And lastly tonight a Special Comment on why we are here. Half a lifetime ago, I worked in this now-empty space. And for 40 days after the attacks, I worked here again, trying to make sense of what happened, and was yet to happen, as a reporter.And all the time, I knew that the very air I breathed contained the remains of thousands of people, including four of my friends, two in the planes and — as I discovered from those "missing posters" seared still into my soul — two more in the Towers.And I knew too, that this was the pyre for hundreds of New York policemen and firemen, of whom my family can claim half a dozen or more, as our ancestors.I belabor this to emphasize that, for me… this was, and is, and always shall be, personal. And anyone who claims that I and others like me are "soft", or have "forgotten" the lessons of what happened here — is at best a grasping, opportunistic, dilettante — and at worst, an idiot — whether he is a commentator, or a Vice President, or a President. However. Of all the things those of us who were here five years ago could have forecast — of all the nightmares that unfolded before our eyes, and the others that unfolded only in our minds… none of us could have predicted… this.Five years later this space… is still empty. Five years later there is no Memorial to the dead. Five years later there is no building rising to show with proud defiance that we would not have our America wrung from us, by cowards and criminals. Five years later this country’s wound is still open. Five years… later this country’s mass grave is still unmarked.Five years later… this is still… just a background for a photo-op. It is beyond shameful. — At the dedication of the Gettysburg Memorial — barely four months after the last soldier staggered from another Pennsylvania field, Mr. Lincoln said "we can not dedicate - we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract." Lincoln used those words to immortalize their sacrifice.Today our leaders could use those same words to rationalize their reprehensible inaction. "We can nto dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground." So we won’t.Instead they bicker and buck-pass. They thwart private efforts, and jostle to claim credit for initiatives that go nowhere. They spend the money on irrelevant wars, and elaborate self-congratulations, and buying off columnists to write how good a job they’re doing — instead of doing any job at all. Five years later, Mr. Bush… we are still fighting the terrorists on these streets. And look carefully, sir — on these 16 empty acres, the terrorists… are clearly, still winning. And, in a crime against every victim here and every patriotic sentiment you mouthed but did not enact, you have done nothing about it. — And there is something worse still than this vast gaping hole in this city, and in the fabric of our nation. There is, its symbolism — of the promise unfulfilled, the urgent oath, reduced to lazy execution.The only positive on 9/11 and the days and weeks that so slowly and painfully followed it… was the unanimous humanity, here, and throughout the country. The government, the President in particular, was given every possible measure of support. Those who did not belong to his party — tabled that. Those who doubted the mechanics of his election — ignored that. Those who wondered of his qualifications — forgot that.History teaches us that nearly unanimous support of a government cannot be taken away from that government, by its critics. It can only be squandered by those who use it not to heal a nation’s wounds, but to take political advantage. Terrorists did not come and steal our newly-regained sense of being American first, and political, fiftieth. Nor did the Democrats. Nor did the media. Nor did the people. The President — and those around him — did that. They promised bi-partisanship, and then showed that to them, "bi-partisanship" meant that their party would rule and the rest would have to follow, or be branded, with ever-escalating hysteria, as morally or intellectually confused; as appeasers; as those who, in the Vice President’s words yesterday, "validate the strategy of the terrorists." They promised protection, and then showed that to them "protection" meant going to war against a despot whose hand they had once shaken… a despot who we now learn from our own Senate Intelligence Committee, hated Al-Qaeda as much as we did.The polite phrase for how so many of us were duped into supporting a war, on the false premise that it had ’something to do’ with 9/11, is "lying by implication."The impolite phrase, is "impeachable offense."Not once in now five years has this President ever offered to assume responsibility for the failures that led to this empty space… and to this, the current, curdled, version of our beloved country.Still, there is a last snapping flame from a final candle of respect and fairness: even his most virulent critics have never suggested he alone bears the full brunt of the blame for 9/11. Half the time, in fact, this President has been so gently treated, that he has seemed not even to be the man most responsible — for anything — in his own administration.Yet what is happening this very night?A mini-series, created, influenced — possibly financed by — the most radical and cold of domestic political Machiavellis, continues to be televised into our homes.The documented truths of the last fifteen years are replaced by bald-faced lies; the talking points of the current regime parroted; the whole sorry story blurred, by spin, to make the party out of office seem vacillating and impotent, and the party in office, seem like the only option. How dare you, Mr. President, after taking cynical advantage of the unanimity and love, and transmuting it into fraudulent war and needless death… after monstrously transforming it into fear and suspicion and turning that fear into the campaign slogan of three elections… how dare you or those around you… ever "spin" 9/11. — Just as the terrorists have succeeded — are still succeeding — as long as there is no memorial and no construction here at Ground Zero… So too have they succeeded, and are still succeeding — as long as this government uses 9/11 as a wedge to pit Americans against Americans. This is an odd point to cite a television program, especially one from March of 1960. But as Disney’s continuing sell-out of the truth (and this country) suggests, even television programs can be powerful things.And long ago, a series called "The Twilight Zone" broadcast a riveting episode entitled "The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street." In brief: a meteor sparks rumors of an invasion by extra-terrestrials disguised as humans. The electricity goes out. A neighbor pleads for calm.Suddenly his car — and only his car — starts. Someone suggests he must be the alien. Then another man’s lights go on.As charges and suspicion and panic overtake the street, guns are inevitably produced. An "alien" is shot — but he turns out to be just another neighbor, returning from going for help.The camera pulls back to a near-by hill, where two extra-terrestrials areseen, manipulating a small device that can jam electricity. The veteran tells his novice that there’s no need to actually attack, that you just turn off a few of the human machines and then, "they pick the most dangerous enemy they can find, and it’s themselves."And then, in perhaps his finest piece of writing, Rod Serling sums it up with words of remarkable prescience, given where we find ourselves tonight. "The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices - to be found only in the minds of men. "For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own — for the children, and the children yet unborn." — When those who dissent are told time and time again — as we will be, if not tonight by the President, then tomorrow by his portable public chorus — that he is preserving our freedom, but that if we use any of it, we are somehow un-American… When we are scolded, that if we merely question, we have "forgotten the lessons of 9/11"… look into this empty space behind me and the bi-partisanship upon which this administration also did not build, and tell me: Who has left this hole in the ground? We have not forgotten, Mr. President. You have. May this country forgive you."

No Sh....

No Sh-Crap, this photo was taken by one of Fenway Park's in-house photographers...Not a good excuse, but it was his day off...
(Photo of Trabert and his folks, Sheila & Dan Brown)

Fenway Park, Friday Night Lights...

Yuke @ Bat

Fenway Park, Home of the Boston Red Sox...

The Green Monster...

The left field wall -- also known as the Green Monster -- measures 37 feet (11.3 meters) high, with the screen above the wall extending 23 feet (7 meters). The center field wall is 17 feet (5.2 meters) high, the bullpen fences measure five feet (1.5 meters) and the right field fence is 3 to 5 feet (0.9 to 1.5 meters) high. (Source: Redsox.com)

The Green Monster also has both a manual (person inside the wall changes all of the scoring) and an electronic scoreboard. Don’t forget if you take the tour, you also get a glimpse of the signatures on the wall behind the Green Munstah!
(Photo Bushido/J.Trabert)

Weekend Wishes

Have a good weekend...try not to follow the Fenway sign too hard...

(Picture: the Bushido/ Jim Trabert, 2006)

Bush's Terror Consigliere-Fran Townsend, Cougars, Manthers, Guyotes..oh my!

I always love receiving comments and e-mails from J-Tarokh, they always have a sporadic and off the cuff feel to them, make me laugh and always seem to have some random question attached. Oddly enough, I usually know the answer or feel intrigued enough to compel myself to do a quick search to expand my own personal horizons of useless knowledge.

This week, Jason sent me the following: “Dude what is the male version of a Cougar? It's called something funny….It's a middle aged guy living in a condo on Viagra?????? It's called something specific….Thanks,”

For those of you just as intrigued as I was, the answer is a “Condo Casanovas” a term describing a retiree living in a retirement community or condo, uses Viagra, has intercourse with both his contemporaries in his community as well as younger “gold-digging” women. Oddly enough, these Condo Casanovas have elderly interest groups uniting to educate each other in the prevention of STDs, known as SHIPs (Senior’s HIV Prevention). Yeah, try not to think about that one too hard...forget I used the word hard...this just gets worse.

It did take a few e-mails back and forth to see what T-$ was looking for. I originally thought he was referring to “Manthers”: A male cougar, i.e., male + panther = Manther. Single, usually divorced, and at a minimum 10 years older than a cougar or perhaps a “Guyote”: A Manther, but ten years older. Guy + coyote = Guyote. Usually, hunt alone, preferring small, easily attainable game. Guyotes may resort to scavenging if desperate. They are often difficult to remove from populated areas. Commonly attracted to, but easily intimidated by cougars. This is all total useless information and I have taken away 30-seconds of your life that you may never get back-My Bad.

However, to redeem myself, I will finally let you in on what a Cougar is and give a prime example of aforementioned sexual creature. A Cougar is a powerful, successful, mature woman, usually in her late 30’s through 50’s, who is both sexually aggressive and successful in her career. A Cougar doesn’t need a man to take care of her; she’s a take charge woman who knows what she wants, gets it and follows the same hunting patterns as Manthers and Guyotes. Other than her stagnant home-maker and Art major in college, Mrs. Robinson would be a prime example of a Cougar, older woman attracted to and gets younger man, to feel acceptance, passion or for physical or other arbitrary reasons. The Boytoy, Toyboy or Guybrator is seen as just an ends to the means of satisfaction.

After reading the article, “The Terror Consigliere” in this week’s Time Magazine, the Bushido would like to throw his hat in the ring for Frances Fragos Townsend (Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism). Not that I have my fingers crossed for her marriage to fall apart, I am just saying, Fran when you think “Plan B” think the Bushido or perhaps if you become a Cougar out in the wild, come to Charleston-Home of the Cougars Baby! By the way, the Bushido would like to commend Jeff Hutchens w/ Getty Images (see picture: compliments of Time Magazine) for capturing, excuse me for producing a quality piece of art….”You are good you, you are good!!!”

(Just a ? to the editors at Time, why is the article titled Terror Consigliere? Seriously, with disregard to life and limb, Townsend fought organized crime with Rudy and broke up the Mob's syndicate. Why use the term Consigliere?)

Parking in Boston...

Fenway Park, Gate A, Van Ness St.

About 2 hours before game time, the Red Sox security “Guest relations” clear Van Ness Street and the Red Sox Souvenir Store. They set up the barriers and the turn-stiles with the usual bag check and metal detector before allowing a ticket holder inside. Once inside however, you have complete access to the Souvenir Store and Fenway Park on Van Ness Street. The brass Jazz band will begin playing once the barriers are up and the street is open for drinking, socializing, buying souvenirs or grabbing a sausage before going in to the park. For the kids, “Stilts” will play catch with anyone around his circle. How hard is it for people to throw back to a guy on stilts? Not hard at all, “Stilts” can snag a ball within a 10 foot perimeter. Other points of note are the line-up board, historical pictures and plaques around Fenway and if you want there is a “My first day at Fenway” mock-scoreboard where you can have your photo taken by Gate A.

Security outside of Fenway Park...

Honestly, I thought this was Kevin "Trash"Ash holding down the fort outside of Fenway Park! Kev, you've got a double-ganger man.

Pictures from Boston's North End

The North End is one of Boston's oldest neighborhoods, everything (i.e. restaurants, souvenir and coffee shops) is pretty much off of Hanover Street, except for Paul Revere's house* on the Freedom Trail. The Bushido recommends Martini's and Mike's Pastry Shop as must stops. Jenny Tumey is adamant about everyone going to Beacon Hill and stopping in at the Beacon Hill Pub. She said, “It’s a must-see landmark”.

Free advice: parking is at a premium in the North End, take a taxi or take the T.

*If you are more inclined to support Israel Bissell as the true Patriot rider that warned the colonies the Red Coats are coming then you could probably care less.

Piccola Venezia Boston's North End

When you get off at the Haymarket stop on the T in Boston, cross the highway, and enter the “North End” of Boston, you can’t help but feel you have stepped into a whole new city, unique in its’ own architecture, ambiance, culture and of course, cuisine. Jenny Tumey told me the North End was a must, and she couldn’t have been more right. Of course, when you find an area which used to have just 4 restaurants and now have close to 100, you have to ask yourself if just choosing one will be adequate for your experience. The concierge passed me a list of restaurants on Hanover Street, “Taranta”, “Tresca”, “Piccolo Mido” and “Bricco”, don’t tell Mother (she thinks it was on the list), but I decided to window shop for our dining experience.

Piccola Venezia seemed to have all of the “old-world” charm that I was looking for in our dining experience. You can pick the posers in any city, the Hyman’s Seafood restaurants if you will that just scream tourist’s trap. I was looking for something different, a little more up Hanover Street. We passed on the 5 table seafood restaurant, because the line out the door seemed impatiently disagreeable with the weather. But fortunately, I happened to spot Piccola Venezia from across the street. The menu was fantastic, generous portions of Southern-Italian food: fresh vegetables, peppers and other spicy ingredients well away from the No-Italian French influences. The ambiance seemed calm in the midst of a very fast paced street. (Btw, the City is thinking of closing Hanover Street to traffic on the weekends and allowing the restaurants to serve people outside on tables, promoting an open-market community feel). I digress; when you see a family-owned place with middle-aged servers and chefs, bus-boys who could be the server’s child and a matriarchal hostess along with all of the comfort and openness of sitting in a family room looking at photo albums, you have found the right place to dine. The food was spectacular, the price was moderate, the portions were hearty and the setting was absolutely what I’d been looking for. Bravo to the folks at Piccola Venezia for a job well done.

Crikey, what sad news

I think Wikipedia may need an edit on their recap of Irwin’s death (see below: You may need to click on the highlighted area in order to read it).

When I first heard of Steve (Crocodile Hunter) Irwin’s death while filming a television program on Australia’s Great Barrier Reef, I wasn’t surprised because provoking animals and living on the edge was Steve’s calling card. There are countless times that I thought, this guy is insane pissing off these animals all while being as cool, calm and relaxed “ain’t she a beaut” as can be.

That being said it was a weird twist of fate for Irwin to be killed on camera by an unprovoked stingray which are rarely deadly and do not attack humans. Evidently, the stingray felt cornered by Irwin and the camera man as they were filming and struck Irwin in the heart with the 8-inch serrated spear (made of the same dermal denticles found on shark scales) at the end of its’ tail. Crikey, we’re going to miss you Steve.

In related news, I read in the paper this morning that today marks the 10th anniversary of Hurricane Fran hitting the Carolinas. Reading this made me think of Boone, Julian Colondres and I evacuating with a couple of last minute, tag-along, CofC girls to Orlando, Florida which happens to be the location where they found the 62-year old, missing jogger, Eddie Meadows. Mr. Meadows was found stuck in the swamp, having numerous bug-bites and a slight case of dehydration from drinking swamp water the past 4 days. His first request was for a drink of fresh water.