Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Wingman


The WaPo’s Laura Sessions Stepp has done it again; the investigative reporter has uncovered top-secret information and exposed the stratagem of single men through out the world in her article, “A Bud for The Ladies”. That’s right Goose, Sessions Stepp put out our wingman secrets in print. She’s explained duties of the Wingman as “falling on the grenade”, recon and never hitting on the target your friend is hitting on. I was impressed that the article did also expose the female mirror of the wingman. I am talking about the ‘cock-blocking’ lady-friend who shoots you down at the end of the night and does everything in her power to prevent her friend (the mark) from making a “bad decision”. That is why you need a wingman-to run interference.

Don’t worry though guys, not all is lost. The article only gave away information used by George Washington students and not dashing, cavalier, So-Gents who invented and carried on the tradition of p-drops and fainting spells on distressed damsels and So-belles. That’s right; the article did not even mention the key role of the ‘Iceman’. If there is one thing that Jim Trabert will one day be eulogized is for is my icebreaking ability or my ability to break through the line of defense and get our group in the mix. That being said, hands down the best wingman I ever had was Craig Blackmon. I would have to say, Pit-Stop (Chad McGowan) and the Beav (Robert Going) would be closed seconds. Scott Farley is in way too good of shape which always forced me into the wingman slot. Tom Stikeleather was the man back in his day, but you had to keep an eye on him because when the going got tough, he’d duel you for the girl.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Memorial Day Weekend, Brad Hiers on Boat



I thought that I would share this picture with you of Brad Hiers from this weekend.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Happy Memorial Day, Pictures from Capers Island

Capers Island
Lex Baker
Dr. Vallini and his squeeze Sallie
Becca and Nikki
If you can't tone it, tan it there Trabert, and Dallas, and Bobo Hiers.
Floatilla in the morning
Hey, It's Jason Koplin's boat

Boatdrinks from the Crew

Have a safe and memorial, Memorial Day!

Answering the call of Kennedy!

On January 20, 1961, the United States 35th President John F. Kennedy asked the citizens of this country to become more active in the fight of the "common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself." In his inaugural speech Kennedy called everyone to service by saying, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Kennedy promised a brave new world of hope, all we had to do was roll up our sleeves and get to work. As we celebrate the birth of Kennedy and remember the recent passing of one of his close personal friends, (that’s right Dan Quayle, you are no Jack Kennedy) I ask everyone to contribute to their community, and answer the call (to service) from Kennedy! –James Trabert

Here's a few suggestions to help your fellow American:

Be a lifeguard at a neighborhood pool!













Show kids how "to be like Mike"













Help a brother pimp his ride!


Remember on Memorial Day

I just realized that I am a complete unAmerican 5 Star A@@hole who dwells on his inner-Frenchman to celebrate a day of rememberance of those who have fallen with boating, bbq'in and imbibing adult beverages. However, as big of a 5-star a@@hole as I am, I am not as big an a-hole as the ignorant fux who wrote and the ditto-head ignorant fux who are forwarding the e-mail titled "Germany Never Attacked Us". This e-mail basically reminds the reader that Democrats (FDR) got us into WW2, President Truman (Democrat) dropped the bomb on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, President Kennedy (Democrat) got us into Vietnam. (Actually Ike got us involved with Indochina when the French pulled out the Foreign Legion because they were getting bad press due to the amount of former SS troops seeing combat under the Legion's flag, but like I said, ignorant fux wrote this and ignorant fux forward it.) I digress; Johnson (Democrat) added fire to the killing fields of Vietnam. Carter pissed off the middle-East, and Clinton attacked the Balkans, albeit ending genocide on a continent that had seen carnage of this level once before in the 20th Century. However, Republicans hate to fight and only do it with a heavy heart and as a last resort. President Bush is saving the day and the American way of life, as he was drawn into the War of Terror against his will, and has brought Peace to the middle-East and lowered the War to the 'fight against Terror'. Really Claudia? Do you really fux'in believe this as truth? Do you? If you do, by all means, please tell it to the following people.


















































































Remember on Memorial Day. Remember that freedom really isn't free. And that those who never served (President Bush and V.P. Cheney) are more inclinded to send troops to fight for their own and their friend's interest. But you are right Claudia, Germany Never Attacked Us. But the eminent threat of German attack was looming-their allies attacked us, and the Germans did attack our allies. And now that we know that Democrats are stronger on defense (from your own e-mail) let's elect Democrats to Congress in the mid-terms, and let's put a Democrat back in the White House. Perhaps then we will be able to find a 6'4" Saudi Arabian who actually did attack this country.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Spoleto Kicks Off Today!

Mel said the Bush Twins will be in town for the Spoleto Kick-off celebration, City Hall on Broad Street at high-noon!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

A Blanket of Roses

The Lottery happens to be the most disgusting regressive tax on the hapless poor, struggling middle-class and degenerate gamblers since the Romans gave prisoners the choose “freedom or death option”-not that the “doors of death” were stacked against the sorry slave who happened to live in the wrong (absorbed by the Empire) country; but usually history played out the game as the slave or Christian had the following choices available in the game-door #1 (lion awaits), door #2 (lion awaits) and door #3 (lion awaits). And yet people still played, albeit a majority played against their will, yet many played because they wanted to become citizens and live in the lap of Rome's luxury.

It seems that history repeats itself when it comes to the gambling spirit. Because money won is better than money earned, or so they say. And despite our Puritan background, we all like to roll the dice from time to time. The odds of winning the lotto are so stacked against the player that you have better chance of being hit by lightening than winning the lottery. Could you imagine if they had those kinds of odds in Vegas? The only people who would travel to the desert would be Celine Dion fans and people who are really into the Kraut-Kissing duo and their man-eating tigers. That being said, I still play. Why might you ask? Because you never know; seriously, even the hapless of hapless losers catch a break baby one more time. Why can’t it be you or me? Or better yet, why can’t it be the original hustler himself, Pete Rose? I can imagine that my winning the lotto would be like “Charlie Hustle” getting tapped for a place on the wall in Cooperstown. Yet in this time of on-line gambling and Boston Red Sox scratch off lottery tickets, Pete Rose is left out in the cold. The irony here is that Barry Bonds and other steroid-offenders will find themselves in the Hall of Fame because they did not break a baseball law; they just broke a Federal law. But Pete Rose who bet on the ponies and baseball (in accordance with Federal and State laws) will be kept out of the Hall because his crimes (although not illegal in the eyes of the law) were illegal under Major League Baseball's rules.

Bottom line, if Major League Baseball is going to condone gambling with the Red Sox scratch off cards, then they sure as hell better let the best damn hitter the game has ever seen into the hall, regardless of his past (gambling) mistakes. The Bushido is pulling for you Charlie Hustle!

Looking Out for the little guy


It seems our cousins to the North (Carolina) are quite astute when it comes to looking for the little guy. I was so pleased to read in the Island Packet this morning that the North Carolina Banking Commission slammed Advance America’s appeal for violations of North Carolina’s Consumer Finance Laws and (NC) State Check Cashing Laws. The Commission ruled America Advance’s interest charge of over 400% on personal/payroll check loans was in clear violation of Consumer Finance Laws. The 117 offices of Advance America will be shut down in North Carolina for this violation. (The Spartanburg based company operates over 2,000 locations in the Southeast.) The bright-line rule here is based on the NC State Law maximum allocation for interest charges @ a rate of 36%.

I am glad to see government regulators finally stepping in to stop the downward spiral many Americans on the lower end of the economic spectrum face. These companies are nothing more than poachers who feast on the monetarily lame and weak. These ‘poor’ folks with their back against the wall turn to these companies to get out of a jam, but are left in a worse position than when they started. Sadly, a majority of the 117 Advance America stores in North Carolina are located within five-miles of US Military bases. As we all know (and love) North Carolina is a military friendly state, with the largest US Marine installment (Camp Le Jeune) as well as a vast US Army base (Ft. Bragg) and a handful of other bases are all located within the Tar Heel state, companies such as America Advance had two huge incentives to set up shop. 1) A majority of military families are eligible for Government Food Stamps or WIC because of their high debt to income ratio. 2) Military personnel can in many circumstances be punished for welching on their debts as this shows poor character on the payer, regardless of the challenging terms set (negotiated) by the payer. Bravo to the gang up in Charlotte for putting the kibosh on pick-pocket companies such as Advance America.

Reggae Legend Desmond Dekker Dies of Heart Attack



Reggae legend Desmond Dekker (born Desmond Dacres) passed today from a heart attack at the age of 64. Most of the younglings out there probably don’t know Desmond’s work, but for those who do know, he will be missed. Dekker was a welder turned musician and the first artist to popularize reggae and Jamaican ska music outside of Jamaica. The song that put him on the map was “King of Ska” a blasting tune of jubilance backed up by The Cherrypies (aka, the Maytals). A legend by all means, his 1968 hit “Israelites” was the first reggae song to top the charts in the US and the UK.

One of my favorite Dekker songs was “You Can Get It If You Really Want” written by Jimmy Cliff. If you have one of your own, by all means, add it in the comment section. I was joking when I said the younglings don’t know about Desmond, because obviously everyone knows Double D. Dekker influenced the Clash and the Sex Pistols with his “rude boy” antics. Finally, when you are named by your buddy Paul on the ‘White Album’, “Desmond has a barrel in the market place, Molly is a singer in the band”, everyone knows who you are. Sing “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da”!

(Photo compliments of the Bluebeat Lounge)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Mills-McCartney headed to the "Big D", Apparently, Love is (not) all you need


Growing up, I often heard my father or uncles use the phrase, “You have about the same chance as a one legged man, in an ass kicking contest” when they wanted an allegorical description of a situation where one would be faced with incredible odds. As an introduction this is probably in bad taste but I think Heather Mills McCartney may be the exception to the rule, as she is about to receive somewhere between $150 and $376 million for her 4-year marital investment with ex-husband (and “soon to be” ex-billionaire) Paul McCartney-essentially kicking his (non-prenuptial agreement) ass. The couple’s divorce (according to Paul) was caused by the media and the tabloids.

Laughable-Heather Mills McCartney has told the press on numerous occasions that she did not marry Paul for his money, but as we are about to find out, she’ll definitely divorce him for his money. I’d like to think that Mills McCartney did marry for love and that she won’t feel entitled to take her Queen’s ransom, but people say that I am a dreamer-and I am the only one. But do you honestly think that she has a leg to stand on with her request of a 9-figure settlement? Regardless, in the “real”-world of jurisprudence and billionaires the Walrus did leave the vault open by not getting her signature. And why didn’t Paul make her sign? Because sometimes “Love is all you need”.

(Photo compliments of the BBC)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Tucker Carlson


Today is Tucker Carlson's birthday. I have to say prior to his (relatively) new show The Situation with Tucker Carlson and despite sharing an affinity towards wearing bow-ties, I have never been a fan of Tucker, especially when he was on Crossfire. Jon Stewart probably described my sentiment best when he responded to Tucker's statement "Jon, you are not as funny as you are on your show" [The Daily Show with Jon Stewart] on Crossfire by saying, "Tucker, you are as big of a dick on your show as you are on others." That being said, Tucker deserves a journalistic bow of honor because he has done his time in the journalistic trenches, which I am sure is all in his new book, Politicians, Partisans and Parasites: My Adventures in Cable News.


Happy Birthday Tucker! (Photo compliments of I am going to hell for this one)

Monday, May 15, 2006

President Bush to address the Nation regarding Immigration

Tonight (8 pm) President Bush will address the nation to outline his plan to deploy Army National Guard troops to aide the Border Patrol in defense of the Mexican/US border. The Old Gray Lady reports Mexico’s Presidente-o Vicente-o Fox-o called Dubya-o to ask what the F-O? Obviously, Dubya is stuck between a rock and hard place on this issue, but he’s listening to the people and the “people want the border’s closed” (WaPo).

The ‘hard-place’ of course is the fundamental base of the GOP and to think that they are dissatisfied about abortion, same-sex marriage and immigration would be an understatement. As they should be, these folks get out the vote for their candidate and only receive lip-service from Republican candidates when it comes to the Christian base’s concerns and issues. (When the election rolls around you hear about gay-marriage, abortion, etc, but nothing is ever done about it once the GOP candidate is elected.) I read today, that Conservatives may withhold their support in the next election if Congress and the White House don’t shape up. As they should, let their conscience be their guide, soon the pendulum will fall back to the left-naturally; somebody has to clean up this mess.

The ‘rock’ is the fiscal side of the GOP. The bottom line is that the Republican Party is in bed with big business, and they smoke screen their tax policies to make small business vote along party lines as well. That being said, the bottom line to protect for small business is the need for cheap labor (especially with fuel prices moving upward towards $3). Where do you find skilled and affordable labor? Hola Mexico! BushCo has reached out towards Hispanic voters and entertained efforts to provide a system of guest workers, and a growing minority of voters to add girth to the party base. But he is taking heat from the We Are America Alliance as they protest against National Guard troops and the measure of punitive legislation coming from Capitol Hill. I digress; the main idea we tend to forget about in this balancing act is the American Dream. Many people risk their lives to come to this country and become something through hard work and perseverance, finally achieving the American Dream which enchants foreign aspirants of wealth without pedigree.

Perhaps it is our own selfishness that we won’t fix the immigration issue because from the beginning of our country’s history, we have always wanted to pick and choose who we let in. We do not want other countries to send us their "huddled masses", we want the cream of the crop or someone to harvest our crops-not someone who will take our jobs. Yes, as ridiculous as this sounds many people worry that you won't be able to find work as a sharecropper these days if we let all of these Hispanics into the country. Yet, who is going to provide the labor? Because the reason people come here is because there is work, and companies will hire them; it is the time-honored Economic position of supply and demand!

Finally, Mr President, if you truly want to get rid of Hispanics and illegal aliens in this country, might I suggest taking away their demand and punishing the companies which hire said illegals. Once the demand is gone, the supply will head elsewhere. As for the National Guard going to the Mexican border, well it could be worse; you could be headed to Iraq. One last request, Mr. President and commentators, please be off the air by 9 pm, I have to watch Jack Bauer save the world tonight.

Weekly Economic Calendar for May 15, 2006

Monday, May 15
May New York Fed Manufacturing Index: 12.4. Consensus: 17.
Previous: 15.8.

Tuesday, May 16
7:45 a.m. ICSC Store Sales Index For May 14 Wk. Previous: -
0.4 percent.
8:30 a.m. April Housing Starts. Previous: -7.8 percent.
8:30 a.m. April Producer Price Index. Consensus: +0.8
percent. Previous: +0.5 percent.
8:30 a.m. April Producer Price Index, Ex-Food & Energy.
Consensus: +0.2 percent. Previous: +0.1 percent.
8:55 a.m. Redbook Retail Sales Index For May 14 Wk. Previous:
-2.9 percent.
9:15 a.m. April Industrial Production. Consensus: +0.5
percent. Previous: +0.6 percent.
9:15 a.m. April Capacity Utilization. Consensus: 81.6
percent. Previous: 81.3 percent.

Wednesday, May 17
8:30 a.m. April Consumer Price Index. Consensus: +0.6
percent. Previous: +0.4 percent.
8:30 a.m. April Consumer Price Index, Ex-Food & Energy.
Consensus: +0.2 percent. Previous: +0.3 percent.

Thursday, May 18
8:30 a.m. Initial Jobless Claims For May 14 Wk. Consensus: - 9K. Previous: -1K. 10 a.m. April Conference Board Leading Indicators. Consensus:
+0.1 percent. Previous: -0.1 percent.
10 a.m. DJ-BTMU Business Barometer For May 7. Previous: +0.6
percent.
12 p.m. May Philadelphia Fed Business Index. Conseusus: 12.4.
Previous: 13.2.

Friday, May 19
No major economic indicators are scheduled for today.
Source: Dow Jones

Sunday, May 14, 2006

CDC Warns of new STD running rampant in America!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea-Lectim and is pronounced "gonna re-elect 'em."Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for four years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for one's own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical-theocracy, and categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a Bush found in Texas.

(Thanks to Marcia for sending this to me.)

Friday, May 12, 2006

Boxing Great Floyd Patterson passes at age 71


Former boxing great Floyd Patterson died Thursday at the age of 71 from complications involving his Alzheimer’s disease and Prostate Cancer. Patterson was a golden glove boxer who came into the sport as a troubled youth, but followed his dream all the way to a gold Olympic medal in 1952 at the Helsinki Olympics. After the retirement of Rocky Marciano, Patterson’s trainer Cus D’Amato maneuvered a title match for the 21-year old against Archie Moore in 1956. Floyd Patterson would be the youngest man to win the heavyweight title until after 30-years another troubled youth, trained by Cus D’Amato would win the title; his name was Mike Tyson. Patterson won the fight, but unfortunately years of receiving blows from such foes as Muhammad Ali and Sonny Liston produced a heightened level of Alzheimer’s disease, which took Patterson’s mind eight years ago, and returned for his body just yesterday. Floyd Patterson will be remembered as a class act, a gentleman, for less of what he said and more of what he did for the sport and those of whom he cared.

Perhaps it was the golden age of boxing casting a shine from Marciano’s success onto the young boxer or it may have been the strategic career-maneuvers by D’Amato, but Patterson became an overnight success and a crowd favorite. Despite being knocked out in 1959 for a title match against Ingemar Johansson; Floyd Patterson would return to re-win and become (the first) a two-time World Heavyweight Champion. Patterson was a smaller boxer, albeit one with a big man’s punch and little man’s speed, when he fought in the Heavyweight division he only weighed 186 lbs. It would be this small stature and (suspect-glass) jaw which would be his career downfall, especially when he faced the larger, longer armed boxers in the 1960’s.

Most of us will remember Floyd Patterson as the fighter who wouldn’t call Muhammad Ali by his newly minted name, addressing the Ali with his birth name, Cassius Clay. This not only spurred a piston of hate and open dialogue from Ali, but also created a punishing set of remarks used today when you open a can of Whoop-a@@ on someone. (Yeah, you guessed it. “What’s my name?” Punch-punch. I said, “What’s my name?”) If you take one lesson from Patterson, I think the thing to remember is that no matter how many times the champ was knocked down, he always got up! Here’s to you Champ!

CofC Interim President Named

Interim President Named
FROM: Bobby Marlowe, Chairman, Board of Trustees
I am pleased to announce that Dr. Conrad Festa has been named the interim president of the College of Charleston. Festa will serve in the position until a replacement is hired for outgoing College of Charleston President Lee Higdon.From 1987 until 2002, Dr. Festa was the Academic Vice President and Provost at the College of Charleston. He is currently the Executive Director of the South Carolina Commission on Higher Education. He will step down from that job and assume the duties of interim President of the College of Charleston on July 1, 2006.

“It is like coming home,” says Dr. Festa. “I am proud and humbled to be selected.”

Dr. Conrad D. Festa

In September 2003, Dr. Conrad Festa became the Executive Director of the South Carolina Commission on Higher Education. He is a graduate of Wheaton College (A.B., Economics, 1952), Cornell University (M.A., Literature, 1960) and University of South Carolina (Ph.D., Literature, 1968). Prior to being named the Commission’s Executive Director, Dr. Festa served most recently as the Executive Assistant to the President at the College of Charleston (2001 - April 2003) and before that as the College’s Senior Vice President for Academic Affairs and Provost and as Professor of English (1987-2001).

He has taught and held administrative positions at Old Dominion University in Virginia including those of Associate Dean of the College of Arts and Letters (1985-1987); Chair of the Department of English (1980-1985); and Professor of English (1961-1987). He is the founder of The Institute for Teaching and Learning in Higher Education at the College of William and Mary and has served as the director since 1978. He is a member of the founding team of the Consortium for Public Liberal Arts Colleges and is a member of accreditation team for Southern Association for Colleges and Schools and for the Middle States Association of Colleges and Schools.
He has numerous publications, academic presentations and academic consultancies and holds several distinguished awards including: Honorary Doctorate from the College of Charleston (2001), Danforth Fellow (1980), Delta Phi Omega Distinguished Faculty Award (1974), and Modern Language Association Award for Teaching Excellence (1972).

Dr. Festa has also provided service to the nation as a member of the United States Navy (1952-1957).

Thursday, May 11, 2006

His Coat Has Many Colors


I was having a discussion with Walt on his birthday about Time’s article regarding polar bears and the shrinking glaciers, etc, when I mentioned that Alaskan hunters found a hybrid-polar/grizzly bear mix. Everyone thought that I was pushing the proverbial envelope of believability when I mentioned the Prizzly sightings and that a hunter had killed one last month; just as a matter of luck and coincidence I found this article on MSNBC. Apparently a hunter killed the bear last month, but the ranger noticed that “Yogi” was not completely characteristic of a polar bear-having brown spots on its’ grizzly-esque humped back, claws of a grizzly and a strong attraction to the pic-a-nic baskets ah Boo-Boo.

As it turns out, the hybrid bear was killed in Canada near the Sachs Harbor. The DNA test did show that the bear was a 50/50 mix between a polar bear and a grizzly bear. Obviously, this a relief to Jim Martell, the 65-year old hunter who bagged the Prizzly, paid $50, 000 to hunt polar bears because he was facing a year in jail, and a grand in fines for shooting a bear that he did not have a permit for. By the way, if I am the first person to use the phrase Prizzly bear, I want royalty money. Yeah right.

(Photo from the Canadian Wildlife Service/AP via MSNBC)

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

? Donde es la ring-o ton-o.

Cingular Wireless pulled a download-able ringtone from its Web site Tuesday after learning that it carried a message the company called "blatantly offensive." The ringtone in question began with a siren, followed by an austral male voice saying, "This is la Migra" (la Migra is slang for Border Patrol.) The message continued, "Por favor, put the oranges down and step away from the cell phone. I repeat-o, put the oranges down and step away from the telephone-o. I'm deporting you back home-o." I couldn't help to think about a certain buddy of mine's extensive Spanish vocabulary when I heard about this, yes John; I am talking about you-o.

Cingular removed the $2.49 ringtone from its Web site. Cingular spokesman Mark Siegel noted company officials are reviewing the process used to screen ringtones. (The ringtones are created by other companies.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

It's Official James Craig Blackmon is a college graduate!

(Pictured is James Trabert, Craig Blackmon and Bradford Hiers)

Yes, our good friend Craig Blackmon is now a college graduate (see diploma in hand). Call it nostaligia or jacka@@ness-Brad and I wore our old field jackets for our old corps friend. Craig was surprised to see us in field jackets a constant reminder of the old days (97 & 98 patches on the sleeves.) I did have a chance to pick on Bobo for not having enough flare on his jacket-no Varsity letter or Honor Company patch, but he had a good excuse. Wait, no he didn't have a good excuse at all. I digress; congratulations to Craig and to quote the commencement speaker General Peter Pace (Chairman of the Joint Chiefs) "You have finally earned the opportunity to start at the bottom and work your way up." Keep moving forward Craig! We are all proud of you!

Florence, S.C. is home to first non-New Yorker guilty of 9/11 fraud

According to the US Attorney’s office in Columbia, S.C. has the dubious honor of having the first non-New York resident found guilty of September 11th fraud. The State newspaper reports that Mr. Roy Singleton of Florence, S.C. pleaded guilty to bank and mail fraud involving his applications to the Small Business Administration for federal financial assistance because the terrorist attack prevented him from selling mobile homes. (Why did it have to involve mobile homes? Sh-crap, the South already gets enough bad press as it is and this hillbilly had to be the one idiot to get busted involving mobile homes.) Also, Singleton pleaded guilty to bank fraud because he sold collateral (without informing Wachovia Bank) that was backing a line-of-credit with the bank. All in all, Singleton received close to ½ a million bucks, but is facing 30-years and a $1 million fine.

Mother of the Year Award and Barry Bonds

Perhaps this is just another case of what happens when “kids have kids” and the parents miss out on their party years, lose their high school friends and grow up with their own children, or Amanda Lynn Livelsberger could just be up for worst or most “chilled-out” (depending on your own stance) mother of the year. The AP Reports that Mrs. Livelsberger (allegedly) gave her 13-year old son marijuana to promote good behavior (i.e. finishing his homework and cleaning his room). Also, she smoked (marijuana) with the child’s friends and occasionally sold the 17 & 18 year old children pot and heroin. The Hanover, PA’s Po-Pos pinched Livelsberger for possession, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of children and possession with intent to distribute drug paraphernalia.

I hate to pull the trigger this early in the week, but I am going to go ahead and give Amanda Lynn Livelsberger my weekly “What the F?” What can I say? She deserves it! Wait-STOP THE PRESS-before I get ahead of myself, I have to give an honorable What the F? mention to Barry Bonds for his refusal to sign the ball from his 713th (one away from the Babe) homerun. Yes the lone Bonds' fan in Philly sitting in section 202, row 7, seat 24 was Air Force and Iraq veteran Carlos Oliveras who caught the homerun #713 ball Bonds hit in the 6th inning off of Philly’s pitcher Jon Lieber did get an authenticity stamp from MLB, but not a signature from Barry. When asked at the press briefing if he would sign the ball, Bonds replied "No". When Mr. Oliveras asked at the end of the press conference if Barry would sign the ball, Bonds just lowered his head and got up from the table. Afterwards, He did pose for a photo with Carlos, and then (oh yes, this is rich) had the moxy to ask for Mr. Oliveras' signature. That's right; Mr Oliveras, please put your John Hancock on this release order so ESPN can use your image on Bonds' show, "Bonds on Bonds". Hey Barry, have you ever heard of quid pro quo?

It was a close one, but Bonds doesn't get the weekly What the F? But have you ever seen someone make being a jerk (read being a Richard Smoker) such a point of pride? By the way Barry, the race card crap is getting a little old. You will soon pass the Babe-that is unless Tonya Harding (thanks Bobo) intervenes and pipes your knee-and the next guy in the list is African-American. So I just don't get the racism that you are crying (wolf) about. That being said, the real reason people don't want to see you break the Babe's record is because you used steroids (cheated) and treat your fans like dung on the bottom of your shoes-something to amuse you as you toil with your so called project for posterity. And that is not what America's game is all about.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Mother of the Year Award

Perhaps this is just another case of what happens when “kids have kids” and the parents miss out on their party years, lose their high school friends and grow up with their own children, or Amanda Lynn Livelsberger could just be up for worst or most “chilled-out” (depending on your own stance) mother of the year. The AP Reports that Mrs. Livelsberger (allegedly) gave her 13-year old son marijuana to promote good behavior (i.e. finishing his homework and cleaning his room). Also, she smoked (marijuana) with the child’s friends and occasionally sold the 17 & 18 year old children pot and heroin. The Hanover, PA’s Po-Pos pinched Livelsberger for possession, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of children and possession with intent to distribute drug paraphernalia.

I hate to pull the trigger this early in the week, but I am going to go ahead and give Amanda Lynn Livelsberger my weekly “What the F?” What can I say? She deserves it! Wait-STOP THE PRESS-before I get ahead of myself, I have to give an honorable What the F? mention to Barry Bonds for his refusal to sign the ball from his 713th (one away from the Babe) homerun. Yes the lone Bonds' fan in Philly sitting in section 202, row 7, seat 24 was Air Force and Iraq veteran Carlos Oliveras who caught the homerun #713 ball Bonds hit in the 6th inning off of Philly’s pitcher Jon Lieber did get an authenticity stamp from MLB, but not a signature from Barry. When asked at the press briefing if he would sign the ball, Bonds replied "No". When Mr. Oliveras asked at the end of the press conference if Barry would sign the ball, Bonds just lowered his head and got up from the table. Afterwards, He did pose for a photo with Carlos, and then (oh yes, this is rich) had the moxy to ask for Mr. Oliveras' signature. That's right; Mr Oliveras, please put your John Hancock on this release order so ESPN can use your image on Bonds' show, "Bonds on Bonds". Hey Barry, have you ever heard of quid pro quo?

It was a close one, but Bonds doesn't get the weekly What the F? But have you ever seen someone make being a jerk (read being a Richard Smoker) such a point of pride? By the way Barry, the race card crap is getting a little old. You will soon pass the Babe-that is unless Tonya Harding (thanks Bobo) intervenes and pipes your knee-and the next guy in the list is African-American. So I just don't get the racism that you are crying (wolf) about. That being said, the real reason people don't want to see you break the Babe's record is because you used steroids (cheated) and treat your fans like dung on the bottom of your shoes-something to amuse you as you toil with your so called project for posterity. And that is not what America's game is all about.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Halo 3

I have to admit something to all of you right now; I am not really a techie or a video-gamer; I know that I techno-geek out and voice meine opinions via this digital diatribe but I am not one to stay home and play video games. That being said, for full disclosure, the one game I do happen to play is Halo 2. That is why with the news coming from Time magazine next week (with Bill Gates on the cover) of a Halo 3 release next spring, I had to pass along the information. Gates told Time that Halo 3 will be released simultaneously with the new Sony Playstation and will be made for the new Xbox 360.

The Bushido was not the only one to become entranced with Halo 2; over 6.5 million copies of the game were sold last year. In addition to this hallmark, Gates cites Halo 2 as the catalyst for moving the Xbox live subscriber base from 750,000 to 1.5 million subscribers.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Kentucky Derby



Get out your best Derby colors, shave up some ice, pluck a couple of sprigs of mint and toss your bourbon and sugar-water mix into a short glass for a well deserved mint julip and enjoy the Kentucky Derby! Go luck to all 20 horses.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Charleston Collegiate Commencement Ceremonies

Trident Technical College
When: 7 tonight
Where: North Charleston Coliseum


The Citadel
When: 9:30 a.m. Saturday
Where: McAlister Field House


Charleston Southern University
When: 10 a.m. Saturday
Where: North Charleston Coliseum


College of Charleston
When: 2:30 p.m. Sunday
Where: Cistern Yard

Thursday, May 04, 2006

AJ puts up 40, but it isn't enough to keep "Pace" with the Nets!

Despite College of Charleston alum Anthony Johnson putting 40-points on the board and Jermaine O'Neal adding 21-points for the Indiana Pacers, they still found a way to let the New Jersey Nets get the best of them in the NBA finals, losing 90 to 96. (The Nets won 4-2 and will play the winner of the Bulls-Heat series.) Vince Carter scored 24-points and his teammate Richard Jefferson led the Nets with 30-points.

It appears Peja Stonjakovic is that important for the success of the Pacers. The two games in which the leading scorer (P.S.) played the Pacers won, since he has sat out with a sore knee-boo-boo, they have lost. (Btw, why does ESPN have the pronunciation PAY-zhuh Stoy-AH-kuh-vitch) behind P.S.'s name?) Regardless, mad props to my main man, and former Cougar, AJ for keeping things as much under control as possible.

Pat Conroy's eulogy of "The Boo"



NOTE: Author and Citadel alumnus Pat Conroy delivered this eulogy for The Boo, Lt. Col. Thomas Nugent Courvoisie, at Summerall Chapel on The Citadel campus on May 3, 2006. The source for the full eulogy is the Post & Courier. (Photo compliments of The Citadel)

Today we gather together, in great joy and sorrow, to bid farewell to one of the most famous Citadel graduates who ever lived Col. Thomas Nugent Courvoisie whose last name was a French cognac, but who claimed his whole life he was pure Irish. Because Citadel cadets cannot pronounce any French products, they nicknamed him 'The Boo.' Because The Boo could not remember any cadet's name, he referred to us as bubba, lambs and bums. It was a wonderful, distinguishing moment in a cadet's life to be called a bum by The Boo. It was a moment of arrival, a rite of passage, and the stamping of a visa attesting to the fact you were an official member of that strange, bright country we call The Citadel.

Here is what The Boo loved more than The Citadel nothing nothing on this Earth. The sun rose on Lesesne Gate and it set on the marshes of the Ashley River and its main job was to keep the parade grounds green. He once told me that a cadet was nothing but a bum, like you, Conroy. But a Corps of Cadets was the most beautiful thing in the world. In World War II, he led an artillery unit during the battle of the Bulge and he once told me, 'The Germans hated to see me and my boys catch em in the open.' It is my own personal belief that The Boo's own voice was more frightening to the Germans than the artillery fire he was directing toward them.

The voice. There has never been a louder, gruffer, more stentorian or commanding voice ever to stir the airwaves of this campus. I speak now of The Boo in his prime, striding this campus like a colossus, all-powerful and omnipresent with his flashing, hawk-like glance that took in everything his purposeful and menacing stalk and that intimidating voice that seemed five times as loud as God's. I once saw him shout out the words, 'Halt, Bubba' on the steps of the Summerall Chapel. Coming out of the library, I halted on the third step and prayed he wasn't yelling at me. But the amazing thing was that the entire campus had halted, every cadet stood frozen in place like wildebeests on the Serengeti plains after a lion's roar. Cadets stood at perfect attention, in perfect stillness some walking into Mark Clark Hall, toward First Battalion, toward the field house, into Bond Hall and all the way to the toolshed. The Boo then charged across the parade ground, stopped a kid entering into Second Battalion and burnt him for his personal appearance. The Cadet's shoeshine particularly offended The Boo, although as I approached the chapel I could not even tell the kid had feet. I heard every word of the cadet's bawling out and I was a hundred yards away. You have never been blessed out or bawled out or chewed out unless you got it from The Boo in his prime. Did I say he was five times louder than God? I'm sorry if that sounds sacrilegious and it certainly is not true. The Boo was at least ten times louder than God and I was scared of him my entire cadet career.

But he prowled this campus like a dark angel of discipline, and this guy was everywhere. He would be there before reveille in any of the four barracks catching seniors late to formation. He was all over the mess hall, wandered the stands during football games, roamed the barracks during parades. During evening study period, he patrolled the barracks breaking up card games, confiscating televisions and writing up cadets out of uniform.

Four times, he recommended my expulsion from The Citadel. Once I found my name on the DL list for 'Insulting Assistant Commandant's Wife.' My Tac officer recommended I be kicked out of school. I ran to The Boo's office and demanded an explanation. 'You stopped to talk to my wife about books on the parade ground.'
'She stopped me, Colonel,' I said.
'I noticed your brass was smudged, your shoes unshined and your shirt tuck a disgrace. I considered it an insult to my wife.'
'I am a senior private, Colonel. That's how I'm supposed to look,' I said. The Boo roared with laughter.
Earlier, The Boo had pulled me for 'Bringing Disgrace, Shame and Dishonor to The Citadel.' The same Tac wanted me expelled from The Citadel. When I confronted The Boo again, he explained that I had played such a lousy basketball game against Furman that he thought I had brought disgrace and shame to The Citadel. Then again, the laughter.

The reason The Boo became the most beloved and honored figured on The Citadel campus and why his legend has continued is because of his sense of honor, his sense of justice and his sense of humor. And here is what a Citadel Corps of Cadets can do better than any other group alive: it can tell you who loves them, it can tell you who hates them and it can spot anyone else around who simply doesn't care about them. The Boo could not hide his love of the Corps of Cadets. He could scream at us, write us up for demerits, hand out tours like business cards, call us bums far into the night, threaten to send us to Clemson a hundred times, catch us heading to Big John's for a beer, deny us leave, bemoan the fact all day that bums were ruining the Corps he could do all of this but he could never stop loving us and we could never stop loving him back and it showed, and it became his final undoing. He was fired as assistant commandant and finished out his Citadel career at the warehouse. He was told not to talk to Citadel cadets. As always, The Boo carried out his duty.

In 1968, I began writing The Boo's biography and it was here I learned all the stories. I did not know he'd written out checks to help poor cadets pay their tuition. I did not know how many corsages he'd bought for dates at the Ring Hop or the money he paid to bail cadets out of jail. He bought two seniors their Citadel rings, but he wouldn't let me put that in the book. The Boo asked Citadel grad J.C. Hare to give free legal advice to cadets in trouble and J.C. never let him down. Every time he asked a senior for his ring as he was kicking him out of school, The Boo could not sleep that whole night. He wouldn't let me put that in the book, either. There was no act of generosity too large for The Boo to proffer to a Citadel cadet. It seemed like too large a job to love an entire Corps of Cadets, but The Boo said it was the easiest job he ever had.

'There was only one cadet I ever really hated. Just one name I can think of,' The Boo said.
'That'll make an interesting story for the book, Colonel. Who is the jerk?' I asked.
'It was you, Conroy. Just you. There was something about you that I hated when you first walked into fourth battalion, you worthless bum.' By the time I finished writing 'The Boo,' I was head over heels, punch drunk in love with the man. By writing the book I got to know The Boo as well as anyone who ever lived. I came to know his demons, his insecurities, his failures. I think he was a better father to the Corps of Cadets than he was to his own children, Helen and Al, and I told him that many times and he always agreed with me. But our love for each other was irreproachable as it would be tested many times.

Before the book came out he asked me if there was anything he could do for me, and I said yes. 'Colonel, you always call me a bum. You've never called me one of your lambs. I'd like to be a lamb now that I've written this book.'
The Boo approached me and nearly put out my left eye with one of his nauseating cigars.
'Conroy, you were born a bum, lived like a bum, and proved to be a bum every day of your sorry life as a cadet. You'll always be a bum to me. Never a lamb.'

When I was writing this eulogy last night, I pulled the copy of 'The Boo' that the Colonel had presented me on publication day 36 years ago. I was looking for a story that summed up The Boo's character and personality and charm. I did not know he had signed it for me that day and I did not know what he signed until last night. He signed my copy of 'The Boo' this way: 'To the lamb who made me. The Boo'

I come now to the last words I will ever write about The Boo in my career. I was lucky to have met him as a young man when I needed a father figure as much as I needed a college education. It is to my great sorrow that The Citadel grads present at The Boo's funeral today are some of the biggest lowlifes, scoundrels, alcoholics, philanderers, nose pickers and bums that ever made it through the long gray line, but I know that The Boo would have it no other way. When I was writing 'The Lords of Discipline,' I went to The Boo for help. 'What makes The Citadel different from all other schools? What makes it different, special and unique? Why do I think it is the best college in the world when I hated it when I was here, Boo? Help me with this.' The Boo held up his hand and said, 'It's the ring, Bubba. Always remember that. The ring, the ring, the ring.' I thought about it for a moment then wrote the words, 'I wear the ring.' 'How about this for a first line?'
'Perfect, Bubba, just perfect.'

It is time to end this, Boo.
Farewell to the artillery man.
You'll always be our commandant.
Always our leader.
Always our role model.
Always the father our fathers could not be.
When you reach the pearly gates, Citadel man, remember your voice, Boo, and try not to scare the angels.
When they asked you what you loved most in life, tell them what you told me. Tell them about The Citadel. Tell them, Colonel, tell them about the bums who loved you but last of all tell them about the ring, the ring, the ring.

Brad Hiers gets physical


Bobo gets physical. This photo is from the future Mrs. Dallas Campbell and has not been altered in any way. Bobo, nice man-boobs Bubba! By the way, I think the matching belt and wrist bands went out in the 80's. The matching headband and one-piece is still cool though. Oh yeah, Bobo. Even though you are getting physical, I don't think anyone in the audience wants to see your body talk.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Look at me being serious


Santos sent me this video-a wonderful example of why I never participated in student government. Then again, "elected officials" always take themselves too seriously. To set the stage Ryan Holt was returning from a DC trip back to Cola when a small prank set this kid aflame. Holt, kid you need to get laid. For more info here is Brazier's article in the Daily Gamecock. Click here for a permalink to the video.

Monday, May 01, 2006

The Citadel Losses a Legend



Lt. Col. Thomas Nugent Courvoisie, lovingly nicknamed "the Boo" by his long gray line of lambs, passed last night at the age of 89. A remarkable man with a presence and moral barometer matched by none, Courvoisie molded the integrity and will for generations of young men @ The Citadel producing a litany of tales, comical lampoons, creative "extenuating circumstances" on ERW's, inspirational wisdom and forward thinking-without gender or race biases-developments of the future for the Military College of South Carolina. (Photo compliments of The Citadel Collection)

Like all legends, the Boo's tale of tough love, chomping cigars and looking after his "lambs" will live as long as their is a quadrangle, "Ol' Corps" Citadel grad or copies of Conroy's The Boo or The Lords of Discipline. Courvoisie's influence will continue as long as their is a man of honor, character and integrity to pass it to the next member of the long gray line. That's right Bubba, even if you didn't know him, you do know him-Something to think about when you look down at that shiny piece of gold on your ring finger.

Arrangements:The Visitation and Funeral will be held in Summerall Chapel on the Citadel campus.Visitation: May 2, 18:00-21:00 hours, (6 pm to 9 pm) Funeral: May 3, 10:30 am