Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Picking the new Miss USA, Rachel Smith...the powers of deduction and appreciation for form and pulchritude


Watching things, especially contests of sports or other competition, on DVR can be somewhat of a challenge-especially if you already know the outcome. Since I had been on an excursion in the foothills of North Carolina-my sister's wedding-I was without any knowledge of who was crowned Miss USA 2007. Fortunately, Blackie watched other events last Friday and was unaware of the outcome as well. With equal footing, (albeit, I do have superior powers of deduction and am more of a student of "form and pulchritude" than Mr. Blackmon) we watched the 51-beautiful contestants compete for the Miss USA Crown.

Forgetting any allegiance to our beloved Carolinas, due to a shortened version of the contest which commenced during the swimsuit competition, Blackie chose two contestants: Miss Rhode Island-Danielle Lacourse and Miss Nevada-the lucky lady, Helen Salas. There was but one young beauty who caught my eye: Miss Tennessee-Rachel Smith (photo from Home Watson.com). Perhaps, it was her gorgeous smile, framed by a sculpted face and 5'11" body or the fact that she graduated Magna Cum Laude from Belmont University with a B.S. in Journalism that attracted me to her. (Belmont has performed for the Bushido in my NCAA B-Ball brackets before). Then again, as you all know, I enjoy interesting people and Miss USA's path to success was golden: as a former intern for the Oprah Winfrey Show, her charity work was impeccable working with girls at Oprah's school in Africa. Finally, my sister's husband is stationed outside of Clarksville, TN-Miss Smith's hometown (bonus points).

Taking all of Rachel Smith's attributes (both physical and extracurricular), it was easy to deduce that she would be chosen as the next Miss USA. Think about it, the reigning Miss USA (Tara Conner) was caught in scandal with her "country mouse meets city mouse" adventures of booze and debauchery. The Donald needed someone who was 21, down to earth and (sorry for the cliche) the total package. Let's see, Miss Tennessee: check, check, and checkkkk!

Miss Kansas was a little bit too (pre-Vatican II) Catholic-forget 2nd chances with Cara Renee Gorges there Tara Conner, she would have said, "You're fired-now go to the warehouse for your date with old Sparky!" Miss Nevada was the type of person who sits at 3rd base on the Black-Jack table and hits on 20; thus taking the dealer's bust card. And Miss Rhode Island would ban (of all things that are dangerous in this world) cell-phones whilst driving. I must admit, the Bushido laughed "sofa-king" hard when she said cell-phones, that I dropped my drink. This left but one queen to wear the crown-the Bushido's pick, Miss Tennessee, Rachel Smith. Congrats to Miss USA and best of luck with her work towards fighting breast and ovarian cancer. And in closing, Miss Smith, if you are ever in ChuckTown-look me up, I have a big yard with a tidal creek for your chocolate lab, Zoe to play with our boy Bear and the old girl Daisy while we discuss world politics, the ever-changing dynamics of journalism and whatever else comes to mind. (Laugh now my beloved readers, but you never know)

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